


Jetpack Blues

by telltaleharto



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 15:02:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4396430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/telltaleharto/pseuds/telltaleharto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>follow me on tumblr at telltaleharto!</p></blockquote>





	Jetpack Blues

_She’s in a long black coat tonight_   
_Waiting for me in the downpour outside_

Carmilla shivered as she fled the room. She had made Laura cry, and that was the worst possible thing. Carmilla never told Laura, but she had made a promise to Xena that she’d take care of the little dork. And frankly, Mattie being in town made that ten times as hard.

Carm stood outside in the rain, smoking. It was a terrible habit, as far as a vampire can have a bad habit, and she never smoked around Laura. She refused. As she puffed on her cigarette and the cherry shone its lone light through the downpour, she tried to figure out where her and Laura’s “little talk” had gone wrong.

_She’s singing “Baby come home” in a melody of tears_   
_While the rhythm of the rain keeps time_

“Carm, can i talk to you for a sec?” Laura called.  
“Sure, what’s up?” Carmilla asked as she walked in. She noticed how Laura’s shoulders slumped as she sat at her desk, facing away from her. It looked as if the weight of the world-and Carmilla’s new secrets-rested on her slender shoulders.

“Am I just a fling?” she asked in a low voice, stressed with pain.  
Carmilla was shocked.  
“No! No, no, of.. Of course not.” she replied.  
“But if you can lie to me about who’s apartment this is, who’s to say you can’t lie to me about this?” Laura forced herself to say, as she turned around.

“I would never do that to you.”  
“You say you wouldn’t.”  
Laura looked up, her eyes brimming with tears.  
“I wouldn’t, Laura! I… I… I could never do that to you.”  
‘Carm… Do you love me? Be honest, please…”  
“I… I…” Carmilla stuttered, then nodded.  
“Say it, Carm. Please.”  
Carmilla locked eyes with Laura, then looked down.  
The smaller girl slammed her fist down on the desk, making Carmilla jump.  
“God DAMN it! If you love me, why can’t you SAY it?” she yelled as the tears began to fall.  
“If you don’t RECALL, the last time I said I loved someone she was TORTURED by my MOTHER as I got sealed in a coffin full of blood! Maybe I don’t want to put you in harm’s way by admitting I love you!”  
Carmilla began to pace.  
“Laura, I love you. I do, I swear. But EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE, thinks I’m a MONSTER who is incapable of loving you!” Tears rolled down her face a she paced and shouted.  
“Even my own fucking SISTER who WATCHED ME MATURE from a bloodthirsty creature of the night to a lazy philosopher thinks I’m going to get bored with you!”  
Laura looked down sadly.  
“Maybe she’s right.”  
“Excuse me?!”  
“I SAID, maybe she’s right.” Laura said through gritted teeth.  
“Laura..”  
“FUCKING LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE!”

Carmilla backed up a step. swallowed hard, and nodded.

“Your sister listed a lot of people, Carmilla. Not people you’ve killed, people you’ve fallen in love with. Did you only fall for them because you wanted a challenge? You wanted to save someone?”  
Laura got right in Carmilla’s face, and stared her in the eyes.  
“It feels like you only liked me because I was a damsel in distress that needed saving. The way your mother saved you wasn’t particularly tasteful, so now you save the girls like me. The ‘marks’. What makes me different from them? Am I different at all?” she whispered intensely.

Carmilla swallowed hard.  
“Of course you’re different.”  
“How?”  
“I was with them… because I didn’t want to be alone… I could be alone, but I didn’t want to be.”

_Did you ever love her? Do you know?_   
_Or did you never want to be alone?_

“And that makes me different... How?” sneered Laura.  
“I was determined to not get involved with you, Hollis, unless I had real feelings for you. And I had real feelings for you. I didn’t want to, but it was swift and sudden and the realest thing I had felt since Ell. Maybe even since the ball, where I was murdered.”  
Carmilla took a deep shuddering breath.  
“And WHY didn’t you tell me this had been your mother’s apartment?”  
“I knew you would never want to stay here. This is the safest place on campus. And I just want you to stay safe, Laura.”  
Laura scoffed.  
“I DON’T need protecting, Carmilla. Remember? I’ve got a dad for that.”  
“You know what? Fuck this. I don’t need to be INTERROGATED, Laura. I thought I deserved better, Laura. What happened to that?” Carmilla said, before turning to walk out the door. Just before it slammed, Laura cried “Carm! Please wait… Don’t go…”  
But it was too late.

As Carmilla leaned against the wall, flicking the ashes off the end of her cigarette, she heard the pattering of footsteps. It was the unmistakeable tread of Laura Hollis, and Carm put out her cigarette as Laura ran up.

“Carmilla! What are you doing all the way over here?” Laura asked, shivering.  
“I needed to go for a walk.” came the cold reply.  
“Oh..”  
Carmilla sighed.  
“What are you doing here, Hollis?”  
“I came to find you.” Laura answered.  
“Why? All I am is a liar and a monster. What’s it to you where I am?” she retorted.  
“You aren’t a monster, Carm. And.. I’m sorry I doubted you.”  
Carmilla scoffed.  
“Carm, I’m just scared.”  
“Of what? You’re the one who wants to save the campus so badly, you make all the dashing plans. What’s there to be afraid of?”  
“Losing you, for one.”  
Carmilla’s cocky smile faltered as she processed what Laura said.  
“Damn it Carm, that’s my worst fear! Losing you is my worst fear!”

_Fight off the light tonight and just stay with me_   
_Honey, don’t you leave_

Laura sighed, and looked Carmilla straight in the eyes.

“You are the only person who, even though you doubted me at times, didn’t treat me like a child. You didn’t tell me it was too dangerous. You didn’t patronize me as much as you could have.”  
Another sigh.  
“Falling in love with you was the most reckless thing I’ve ever done. I’m the type who puts labels on everything and cooks one recipe I’m used to for dinner three weeks in a row, because I don’t like change. My dad made me this way after we lost my mom.” Laura chuckled.  
“But when it came to you.. I fell. Hard. With reckless abandon and completely blind trust that you would catch me. I was scared, because how could you love me? I was a ‘naive provincial girl, entirely too tightly wound.’ I had never gone more than 100 kilometres from where I lived until college, I had seen nothing of the world.”  
“I didn’t care, though.” interrupted the flustered vampire.  
“Yes, but.. I thought you would.”  
Carmilla opened her mouth, as if to speak, and was interrupted by Laura pulling her down for a soft kiss. Carmilla could taste the tears Laura had cried. Before Laura pulled away, Carmilla’s own tears joined hers.  
“I love you, Laura. You’re the only one who matters.” Carmilla murmured, her face inches from Laura’s.  
“I love you too, Carm. I’m sorry-”  
Carmilla kissed her again before she could say any more.  
“Don’t be. Let’s go home, it’s raining really hard.”

_Did you ever love her? Do you know?_   
_Or did you never want to be alone?_   
_And she was singing “Baby, come home”_   
_"Baby, come home"_

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr at telltaleharto!


End file.
